


Some pets just choose you

by bookaddict43



Category: Firefly
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-13
Updated: 2009-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-02 04:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookaddict43/pseuds/bookaddict43
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayne gains a pet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some pets just choose you

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the LJ comm 10_cracks Table C: Firefly crew crack. Prompt #2 Jayne gets a pet.   
> This was my first and so far, only, attempt at a crack fic...  
> Disclaimer: Firefly and Serenity are the property of Joss Whedon

Thwack! Jayne savoured the sound of pool cue meeting head. His opponent dropped to the ground, and the mercenary swept the cue around to hit the man next to him. The man howled as the stick crushed his nose and Jayne ducked a flying chair.

After three weeks of doing nothing out in the Black he was really enjoying the tussle until things started getting a mite more serious and some chuin-zi pulled a gun and started shooting.

Jayne jerked Carrie from his holster and started to back out of the room. Mal’d kill him for sure if he got taken by the law again. Sliding his feet carefully over the rubbish littered floor, he avoided a mop lying in the doorway and opened the door; just as a bullet whistled past his ear.

He turned and fired; the mop came to life, and growling fastened its teeth to the gunman’s leg. The man’s hand wavered, Jayne shot him between the eyes and left hurriedly through the back door. No-one followed him this time, so he headed down the alley, keeping a weather eye out for anyone wanting to separate him from his coin.

He weren’t too far from Serenity when he heard a kinda pattering sound. Jayne frowned. Not many fellas he knew pattered. They stomped, they ran, they were down-right heavy footed. He ducked around a corner and sheltered behind some garbage. The pattering got closer and Jayne spied the mop coming toward him.

“Rutting dog; you’re like to scare the go se outta me,” Jayne holstered his weapon and raised a menacing hand. “Get off now.”

The dog tossed its fur, looked at him out of bright brown eyes, and snuffled growlfully.

“Get lost,” Jayne said again and headed purposefully toward the boat.

The pattering continued to follow him, but Jayne ignored it. Just ‘cause it had saved his life or something didn’t mean he was stuck with it. Sooner or later the ben dan dog would give up and leave him alone. He hoped – ‘cause it was still there when he got to the ship, trotting up the ramp behind him like it belonged there.

“You ain’t coming.” Jayne swung a boot at the mutt. “There ain’t a place for you here.”

Frowning fiercely, he stomped off to his bunk and flung himself onto the bed. Jayne sighed as his door was nudged open, the dog sailed through the air and tried to splatter itself all over his bunk. He reached out and caught the floating animal round the stomach and plunked it on the floor.

“I don’t need no dog. ‘Specially one that looks like you.”

The dog rolled over and waved its paws at him, claws clacking on the edge of the bed and Jayne saw with a sigh that there were no boy parts anywhere in sight.

“Mal won’t like it. He’s got rules.” Fur flew through the air as the dog shook its body every which way. “You ain’t got a chance if the Captain sees you like that,” Jayne cast a glance around his bunk and reached out a hand to the boot brush on the sink. “Just stay still will you?”

*******************

“Ifen you don’t stop following me; instead being all kind-like and finding you a home, I’m gonna space you,” Jayne growled at his unwanted companion. “Couldn’t you just stay where I put you? I don’t need folks seeing you and getting all riled up.”

The dog bared her teeth at him and just kept pattering along beside his feet, and before he could get rid of it, Kaylee had it spotted. “Oh Jayne, it’s beautiful! Where did you get it?”

“She ain’t an it…” he started.

“Jayne,” Mal rubbed his eyes for a moment. “Do you mind telling me what that is?”

“It’s a dog.”

“Whose dog?”

“She’s mine,” Jayne gave in to the truth of it.

“You brought a dog on board?”

“She’s a real fine dog Mal. Tough and all.”

“Tough? The dog has a bow in its hair.”

“So it can see to attack,” Jayne explained earnestly.

“Dog of Fu, Lion dog,” River held out a cautious hand. “Guardians of all.”

“There’s plenty of us already capable of guarding and no need of an extra mouth to feed.”

“Da-Xia’s a weapon.”

“A weapon?” the Captain shook his head. The dog looked even less like a weapon than River did.

“You named her Big Hero?” Simon questioned in amazement.

“She stopped some hun dan shooting me.”

“See she is a hero,” Kaylee swept the dog up into her arms. “And it’s a real shiny name Jayne.”

Mal sighed as the dog snuggled into his mechanic’s arms and glared at him defiantly. “Couldn’t it at least be a manly dog? Who ever heard of a mercenary with a Pekingese?”

“Imperial dog, special and noble…”

“Pekingese have a reputation for devotion Mal.”

“She don’t look like she’d eat much sir.”

“All right,” Mal shouted. He had no inclination to have a mutiny over a dog. “It can stay. But the first time I find poo on the floor, Jayne gets spaced and the dog finds a new owner planetside.”

“Awwwwwww Mal,” Jayne protested.

Da-Xia wagged her tail, snuffled enthusiastically, and sneezed - all over the Captain’s shirt.


End file.
